My english teacher wanted to have sex in junior high.
The only problem was, my english teacher was a guy.
so i slapped him in the face with an eraser
Chased him with a stapler.
And stapled his nuts to a stack of paper ("Oww!").
Walked in the strip club
Had my jacket zipped up.
Flashed the bartender
And stuck my dick in her tip cup.
Extra-terrestrials killin pedestrians
rapin' lesbians while they screamin
Let's just be friends!!!
Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to.
I just found out my mom does more dope than I do.
I told her I'd grow up to be a famous rapper.
Make a record about doin' drugs, and name it after her
("Oh, thank you!").
You know you blew up when the women rush the stands
And try to touch your hands like some screamin Usher fans.
This guy at White Castle asked me for
my autograph "dude can i have your
auto graph?!
So I signed it: 'Dear Dave, thanks
for the support..Asshole!'
