Sokru

I stare at the paper.
It's like my head,
my heart.
Empty.
I want to write you anything.
I would like,
no,
I'd love to write you anything.
Something.
Something meaningful.
Just few words, perhaps.
But I can't.
I don't want to.
So I will not write you a word.

I just sit in the corner and cry.

How can a paper hurt me so much?

Let me tell you a story, my friend,
about a little girl who were born
to die unhappily in the end,
being haunted and lorn.

Her parents called her angel everyday,
they loved her from the start,
but she hadn't everything in her brain,
so she lived from the heart.

She had no friends, even she was young
and they moved to other land,
but the other children sang another song,
and she was like foot steps in the sand.

So she walked alone, cried secretly from them,
praying for someone for the 7-year-girl:
A loving, caring friend,
to share with her the world.

The God didn't answer, although she waited,
and she closed her eyes for a while,
and she imagined all she wanted,
from the toes to the smile.

Now she always had a friend with her,
and she would never be alone.
They had a fun time, that's for sure,
he was part of her home.

Then the family moved again,
and he followed her, of course!
In school kids bullied her,
they laughed to her like a horse!

More they laughed, even more deep,
was her love to her imaginary friend,
but then came the another black sheep,
and all the laugh seemed to end.

The neighbor-girl, sweet and kind,
seemed to understand,
and she was the best she could find
in the chaotic world to stand.

Years and years they were so closed,
like sisters, people said.
She was what she needed most,
a real living friend.

But the imaginary friend didn't like it,
in years he had became real,
he started a war inside her little mind,
and she didn't know what to feel.

He screamed and shouted, messed all up,
and she cried for a little mercy.
Own created friend became demon,
said all the doctors, nurses.

She was shamed, very scared,
but the neighbor-girl didn't leave her alone,
even doctors said "You can't be healed",
together the girls survived from the cursed.

She lost the ghost, with demon soul,
but she didn't even care,
she thought she would never be alone,
never, all that seemed so fair!

Couple years passed, and suddenly,
the best friend just said:
"I've found better friends, and see,
you have the demons in your head.

You're scaring me, and you're not enough,
so don't come even near me."
And she was gone, no friend, no more,
and it seemed so hard to be.

She had a few friends from the school,
but she was too desperate
to see them, the little fool!
It just felt that she was living in hate.

For months and months she cried,
and when you asked: "Oh, I'm fine."
She was deeply hurt, though she tried
to continue life in the line.

Seemed no one cared, how she hurt
herself to feel even a bit light,
but the time it helped, was too short,
and in the end seemed no right.

So she tried to talk,
in the school for a nice girl.
And more time walked,
she had a found a meaning in world.

And yes, she found a boy,
and she thought she's in love.
But he was as smart as toy,
and she left him before the start.

The boy tried to call her one day,
but she didn't answer the call.
Maybe she finds someone meant to her,
and in peace she can fall.

The girl from school can't replace what she lost,
but she makes her smile again,
and more she lives, she realize
maybe it's worth of all the pain.

She still has a problem with her brain,
but she lives like every other here.
The Ghost, reason to all the pain,
can't get even near.

And everyday, she wonders
why she lived all this,
and more she think, more she knows,
there's no moment she wanted to miss.

So, you see, I'm only me,
and trying my best.
I don't know, if this is hard to read,
but anyways, be my guest.