I have moments, when my mind is floating in the void. I don't know what is real anymore, I just run hoping there's something that waits for me ahead. I'm not yet a whole, I'm only a protoype, of what I will grow to be. I hold my middlefinger in the air, so "fuck you!" if you don't like what I say. Fuck you, I'm not even listening to your pointless whining. You don't know what my world's about. I don't care much for yours neither.
I had a flashback today, and I knew, at that moment, I had my hate back. I would'nt had cared, if the whole world would have died in a single blink of an eye. I'm insane, you might say, and one glorious time in your life, you are fucking right, bitch. Gongratz!
When I was sitting behind my drum set today, I felt something, that was simply pure amazing. The sticks were like a pencils, and I wrote my hate from the drums, to the world around me, the world that disappeared more and more, with every single hit I made to the drum skin. I need to have it every single day, need to feel it, over and over again. It's only thing left, what I live for.
Now, when I'm writing this, my dear destiny, I only want you to know, that I pray for you, tears in my eyes. Let this week, or the next one, be the start of my dream. Let me form that band, that I've been living for my whole desperate life. I really need it, to express what I'm feeling... To live. My. Life.
For if you, my precious destiny, decide, that I'm not good enough for you, I know that my will to fight will grow too weak, and eventually, I will be dead without fulfilling my only dream.
So let me have it, before it's too late.
Only thing I ever asked you.
Please.
